Counselling Saved Me
Friday, 28 April 2017
(Enjoy this lil' throwback of baby Soph)
I'm coming to the end of my first year at university, and I can't believe I’m saying this, but I’m finally happy.
A few months ago, I was struggling really badly with my mental health. I’ve suffered for the past year and a half (on and off) with anxiety and depression. But, I'm finally feeling, well, better.
Before heading to university, for the second time, I’d been on the NHS waiting list to receive counselling for a long, long time… 7 months in fact. My doctor had prescribed me medication to numb the physical symptoms but I needed to speak to someone. I needed to untangle the knots in my head.
We all know the NHS is stretched, as this is in no way bashing them at all but this is simply my experience. I was offered telephone counselling as a short-term solution, until I could see a therapist. This was great, except there was one small problem, phone calls incredibly triggered me. I hated them. I had a few sessions, but there's something so impersonal and troubling about telling a faceless voice that you've had suicidal thoughts.
We all know the NHS is stretched, as this is in no way bashing them at all but this is simply my experience. I was offered telephone counselling as a short-term solution, until I could see a therapist. This was great, except there was one small problem, phone calls incredibly triggered me. I hated them. I had a few sessions, but there's something so impersonal and troubling about telling a faceless voice that you've had suicidal thoughts.
When I came to university in September 2016, I declared on my UCAS form that I had suffered with mental health and I can’t thank my university enough. Because I’d declared this I was given a counselling session within a week of applying. I’m allowed 6 sessions per year, and so far I've had 5 sessions. I'm saving the last one as a backup!
I want to stress that everyone's journeys are different and if other treatments work for you, then amazing! But in my personal situation, I need a talking therapy.
I want to stress that everyone's journeys are different and if other treatments work for you, then amazing! But in my personal situation, I need a talking therapy.
So, how did counselling help me?
Counselling was vital in me sorting the broken bits in my head, and piecing those memories into a timeline and working out what triggered me to feel low, or anxious.
See, I’m a very open book when it comes to mental health but, when it comes to some of the situations I’ve had to go through I’m incredibly closed. Having an impartial person listening to my story, and reassuring me that I’m normal to be feeling the way I was, really took a huge weight off of my shoulders. I was reminded I wasn’t weak in fact, I’d just been too strong for too long.
Counselling taught me that I’m too hard on myself. In fact, I'm a perfectionist. I push myself to my breaking point, in an attempt to over-achieve and give myself some sort of acceptance. I replaced days in bed feeling depressed, with going to the gym 6 times a week and a calorie-restricted diet. These then followed with days of endlessly binging on foods that made me feel sluggish and sad.
Thing is, counselling taught me about my patterns. I’m a cyclical person. For example, in March 2016 - I was comfort eating myself to destruction after leaving university. Flash forward to March 2017, I’m more aware of what I’m eating and guess what, it was crap. Breaking this down and exploring my emotional brain with my cognitive brain was important for me. I’m able to recognise my triggers, and help try stop them.
Counselling was the best medication for me, not citalopram and whatever other drug I was prescribe. For me, my doctor prescribing medication was to cover themselves, they are essentially the middle men between accessing therapy. I completely understand their situation, but I knew deep down, medication just wasn't an answer for me.
I would encourage anyone struggling to consider taking the counselling route if they have access to it - it really saved me.
Recovery and mental health is a journey. It would be naive of me to think that I'm magically fixed, and that I will go back to my bubbly self. I know that's not the case, of course I still have bad days. But those bad days are few and far between nowadays.
I would encourage anyone struggling to consider taking the counselling route if they have access to it - it really saved me.
Recovery and mental health is a journey. It would be naive of me to think that I'm magically fixed, and that I will go back to my bubbly self. I know that's not the case, of course I still have bad days. But those bad days are few and far between nowadays.
If anyone has any questions about counselling or mental health in general, please feel free to message me or tweet me!
Thanks for reading pals!
Why ‘Millennials’ Need to Care About Politics | #BloggersWhoVote
Wednesday, 26 April 2017
Disclaimer: Now, this is in no way a preachy post telling you who to vote for, but more encouraging you to actually vote - it’s actually really simple (although hints of my allegiance will be fed throughout, lol obvs). If you’re also not registered yet, please follow this link to ensure you’re able to vote. If you’re a university student, you can also register to your term time address and vote as part of that constituency. Now, less of the formalities, let’s get gritty.
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Politics. I know, I hear you gal and I let out a great big moan too - not the welcomed type either. Have you ever wondered why throughout school we are taught absolutely zilch about politics, and yet we’re expected to make a vote about a system we’re completely clueless about? Yeah, me too.
In case you’re not aware, Theresa May has called a ‘snap’ general election on 8th June 2017 - and I want to encourage you to vote. Voting allows you to air your views, and is your right in the UK. Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know I love a good political debate - even if I haven't got a clue about what I’m saying. Debating is good for the soul. Thinking is good for the soul.
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Be the change you want to see in the world - use your voice!
Fed up of the inequalities in the UK? Fed up of £9000 a year (and rising) tuition fees? Then vote - it gives you a voice! When the parties announce their manifestos, read them. These are key on seeing whether any of the points raised strike a chord with you. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of the injustice and the demonization of the poor in this country. The media are a bugger for it too, I know, I’m a media student. I've seen so many people highlight the 'you should vote for yourself' card, and whilst I agree with this statement, I don't think it's entirely fair. I'm voting for the poor, the disabled, those who have had their NHS (which they rely on) destroyed.
I come from a working-class background, and I'll never forget the struggles my mum has had to go through in her life. She worked, and still does, every hour god sends to provide for her family. If it wasn't for the struggles we went through in early life, then I wouldn't be half the person I am today. I empathise with those living on the breadline, unsure where there next meal is coming from.
I’ll vote for a democracy that strives to redistribute the wealth in this country, and not allow for large, transatlantic companies to get out of paying their tax. I’m a student with two part time jobs - I still pay tax, so why shouldn’t they?
We, as the ‘next generation’ or millennials are the next generation to put our mark on this world - let's make it a positive one. We get it. We get a bad wrap as millennials. Even the word makes me queasy. We're deemed lazy. We're spoilt. We've had it too good. We've heard it all, and we know that's not the case.
We're so engaged in the wider world, and more than ever social media has made it easier for us to be connected to world issues. We may be called lazy, but we're compassionate and aware. From my Facebook list alone, I've had friends actively sharing political based content - educating and opening a discussion with their friends. Politics should be for everyone, it should be accessible and not elitist.
TIPS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE CLUELESS ON POLITICS: A NON-PATRONISING GUIDE FROM A COMPLETE NOVICE:
1. Follow journalists on Twitter - their job is to hold people to account, and they know their shit!
Personally, I love following Owen Jones. His passion and politics speaks to me - but there are plenty out there who are making this election accessible to all. Abi Wilkinson is another great source. Remember, a journalists job is to hold MPs to account, to unveil the truth and work for the public good.
Side note: please be wary of media sources, as some newspapers/publishing platforms are owned and managed by people who will try and influence the vote. Be wary, do your research. Just be critical with the media you're consuming,
2. Keep your eye on the political party websites for the shortcoming manifestos.
This is pretty self explanatory, but keep up to date with their websites for the Conservatives, Lib-Dem, Labour (and all the others in-between). They will post their key messages for you to read to decide on who you'll vote for.
3. Email your local MP, and find out what they've been doing!
People forget we're voting for our own MP's and see the vote based on the leaders of the parties. What we must remember is that yes, we're voting for a party but also our local MP. Head to TheyWorkForYou this will show you a simple breakdown on the issues your MP has voted on. Your MP should also have a contact page on their own private websites - quiz them, ask what they've been doing, what they want to do for your in the future, be as open and honest as you want. It's their job to respond.
Here's a breakdown of a table that I found on Twitter, that shows who voted on key issues:
Whether you believe Brexit is good or bad. Whether you hate Jeremy Corbyn, but side with Labour. Or whether you even think the Conservatives are not actively destroying the NHS (side note: I'm obviously not still voting for the tories) just vote, people died for your right to vote.
Social media and the internet makes it incredibly easy for us to find the information on the competing parties, let's change this lazy attitude we stamped with. Let's become educated, let's open a dialogue. Hell, let's make politics cool to talk about.
Because you may not be interested in politics, but politics is certainly interested in you. Politics defines and shapes the wider society around you.
Thanks for reading pals, let's open a discussion - I'd love to know your thoughts.
Love,
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How to Save Your Dry and Damaged Hair for Under £3
Thursday, 23 February 2017
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So basically I have discovered a £3 miracle product that your bleach-damaged hair needs, right now.
It’s not a surprise to anyone who knows me that I love to experiment with my hair. Ever since the age of 14 I’ve been dying my own hair.
I rarely go to the salon, I mean, I’ve got relatively long and thick hair and for a simple cut + colour I can pay anything from £80 - being a broke student just doesn’t stretch that far. The few times I have stepped into a salon, I've often left disappointed or haven't achieved what I wanted. Apart from with my hairdresser Emma, at Bliss in Loughborough - she's an angel sent from above.
I rarely go to the salon, I mean, I’ve got relatively long and thick hair and for a simple cut + colour I can pay anything from £80 - being a broke student just doesn’t stretch that far. The few times I have stepped into a salon, I've often left disappointed or haven't achieved what I wanted. Apart from with my hairdresser Emma, at Bliss in Loughborough - she's an angel sent from above.
I’ve pretty much been every colour under the sun, from red to brunette to my current ombre grey. I'm so restless with my hair, and there's always something I want to try. I tend to just watch Youtube videos for techniques, and the odd review if I fancy trying a new product. I wouldn’t say I’m too precious with my hair, as it grows back pretty quickly.
I am a box dye fiend, and I'm always convinced that I can recreate looks at home, sometimes they're terrible, of course I'm not an expert.
So for a person who dyes their hair every other month pretty much (sometimes more) I know, I’m terrible, I’ve been through my fair share of hair products. From salon professional brands, to what you can find in Superdrug or Amazon. I’m always on the hunt for something that’s going to keep my hair the healthiest it can be.
A few of my personal favourite products for my hair have been the Moroccan Oil in Light, Oslo Wonder 10 (which you can get from Amazon for like £10 and it's honestly unreal, and more recently the Aussie 3-Step Oil.
All of those products have helped me retain some sort of normality, but during the winter my hair has become increasingly dry and brittle. A few days ago, I popped into Superdurg to find their own brand coconut oil.
LONG STORY SHORT, I’ve found a miracle product and yep, it’s under 3 fricking quid.
LONG STORY SHORT, I’ve found a miracle product and yep, it’s under 3 fricking quid.
Basically the Superdrug coconut oil is bae. I basically chuck some in a little bit, heat it in the microwave for a minute and bang it all over, being very generous. You can either leave this for a few hours, or sleep the whole night with it in. Simply wash the product out with shampoo - you MUST shampoo else you’ll never get the greasy devil outta ya locks.
Apply heat protection, blow dry to your heart’s content et voila. You’ll be left with silky, healthy locks that will remove the signs of your dry, lifeless hair. My only regret is not trying it sooner. I'll definitely be putting this oil in my weekly haircare routine from now on.
You can thank me later hun. Let me know if you give it a try!
Thanks for reading gals!
February Make-Up Menu
Tuesday, 21 February 2017
These make-up bits have been my February go-tos. With the weather being a bit colder and harsher, I’ve been wearing a little bit more make-up to keep my face in place all day (haha!). All of the products are incredibly affordable, as you know, I'm a broke student. Gal don't wanna be eating beans 24/7.
Foundation: Maybelline Poreless | £5.99
I love this foundation. It trumps the high end foundations I’ve tried. There, I’ve said it. It’s a matte finish, but not too matte (I still like to have a bit of dewy-ness). It’s formulated for those with normal or oily skin, which is great for me as I can often suffer with oily breakouts. It’s really great at blurring out all my pores and imperfections, leaving me with a really smooth base. It’s super inexpensive too, there’s also currently a 2 for 1 offer on Maybelline products too.
Concealer: LA Girl Pro Conceal in Porcelain | £3.99
Now like most girls, I love the Collection Lasting Perfection but I think this LA Girl concealer has taken the top spot in my makeup bag. It’s super long wearing, and has really good coverage - which is what I look for in a concealer. It blends like a dream, and is also really good for contouring.
Powder: Rimmel Stay Matte | £3.99
I’ve rekindled my love for this absolute beauty staple. I picked this up a few weeks ago, and can’t believe I even used a different powder. I have it in the shade Translucent and it does a great job in setting my under-eye concealer. For the price, I really have no complaints.
Bronzer: Sleek Contour Shade | £9.99
I love Sleek, and I think they’re really killing it right now - especially with their highlighters. But this contour kit, is completely underrated. For starters it’s so handy for travelling, and the contour shade is a perfect match for my fair skin. I find it hard to get a shade that is light enough for my skin tone, but despite the colouring, this contour shade is a dream. Great for chiselling those none existent cheekbones.
Blush: Limited Edition Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Radiance Palette in Mystified | Sold Out
This palette is my favourite thing about 2017 (so far). I’ve never had any products from Tarte before, so when Santa bought me some on Christmas Day, I was ecstatic. The blush in this palette is super-wearable, and as a person who rarely wears blush, I love it. It’s super flattering on those with a pale skin tone too.
Highlight: New Look Beauty Strobe Kit | £7.99
New Look have recently relaunched their beauty range, and of course I had to try some of their products. Their old packaged highlighter was a stand out from their Beauty range, so I was pleased to see they had kept a highlighter. This palette is great because it comes with 3 different shades, one more pinky shade, a bronze and a more pale whiter shade. I tend to just stick to the more golden shade, but the formula of this palette is super smooth. I love it!
Eyeshadow: Limited Edition Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Radiance Palette | Sold Out
This is my palette of dreams.
As a girl who is a hardcore Urban Decay fan, I think Tarte has stolen my heart. Unfortunately, this palette is limited edition so it's no longer available. The palette itself comes with 6 wearable shades, and a beautiful blush. The eyeshadow shades are all brown shades, with mostly matte formulas. I literally wear this palette every single day, it can take you from day to night.
Eyebrows: NYX Brow Pomade | £5.50
NYX brow products are just brilliant, for ages the Micro-Brow pencil was my brow staple but as my preference in my brows is more bold, this pomade is brilliant. It allows me to shape my brows, even if they need a good wax. I can still have sharp looking brows with this pot of heaven. I've seen a lot of people compare it to the Anastasia Brow products, but I haven't tried them (cus I'm a broke student). Definitely a steal for £5.50.
Mascara: L’Oreal Miss Manga | £7.99
I picked this mascara up on a whim, and I'm so glad I did. It's so great at lengthening my lashes and given them more volume. I have relatively long eyelashes, but whenever I wear this mascara with eyeliner, I've had a lot of people asking me if I'm wearing falsies.. so that's a winner in my eyes. L'Oreal generally do brilliant mascaras, a lot of people rave about their Million Lashes, but for me, Miss Manga takes it.
Lipstick: Nyx Liquid Suede in Sandstorm | £6.50
NYX are the baes of lip products for me. As a lover of their soft matte lip creams, I was dying to try their Liquid Suede formula, and boy they do not disappoint. They are super long-wearing, but without drying your lips out. I know this is a common reason people are put off matte liquid lipsticks, but these are beautiful! I always get compliments, and I've often been asked if I'm wearing Kylie Lip kit (which can only be a good thing.)
Hopefully, when I've got a few extra pennies I can try and few more bits this year. There are a few higher end beauty bits that I'm dying to try. Let me know if you have any recommendations!
21 things I’ve learnt at 21
Saturday, 4 February 2017
So I've been a terrible blogger because this post has been saved in my drafts, for like, ever.
My 21st birthday was in October, and I had the most dreamy week on holiday with my number 1 a.k.a Leon. We went all-inclusive to the Labranda Alyssa Suite hotel in Lanzarote, and I couldn't recommend it enough, especially for a sunny, relaxing break.
I did a post when I turned 20, entitled something incredibly similar but I feel going through my first year of my twenties I've learnt a whole lotta other shit.
So, here goes, 21 things I've learnt at 21:
1. Success isn’t measure by money but love and trust
2. People can be pricks
3. University isn’t for everyone
4. You determine your own future
5. I’ll never master a winged liner
6. Shaving is overrated
7. The number on the scales doesn’t mean shit
8. In general, numbers don’t mean shit
9. Loyalty is rare today, when you find it, hold it tight
10. Sleep is always the answer, but only in 15-minute power naps
11. You can always count on your Mum
12. Netflix is always going to be a great investment, especially over food
13. Read more
14. Stop taking everything at face value
15. Heels were created by a man, of course they’re never going to be practical
16. It’s okay to not have a massive friendship group
17. Concealer is your best friend
18. You are more productive on 6 hours sleep, than 9 hours
19. It’s okay to like your own company
20. A fresh fake tan will make you happier than chocolate ever can
21. Just keep doing you.
I think it's important to reflect on your person growth, sometimes we're too hard on ourselves and I'm all to aware of being my own worst critic. I've definitely learnt some important lessons since moving out of home, and starting university again - maybe not any financial tips though. (So hit a girl up if you're a boss at budgeting).
Can you relate to any of these? or have you learnt some tough lessons this year - let me know in the comments, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Why We Need to Talk About Feminism
Friday, 3 February 2017
If you guys follow me on Twitter you will see that I put a poll on to ask how comfortable people felt calling themselves feminists. Recently, I attended a Women in Leadership conference at my university and it really got me thinking about how I feel about feminism.
It's important to open up the conversation. Everyone can be a feminist, and proud.
I wrote a post way, way back about how feminism shouldn’t be a dirty word and I still stand by what I said, although my outlook has slightly changed.
One thing that struck me in the conference was the historical stigma that surrounds the term ‘feminist’. A lot of the women that attended felt that the connotations were normally negative, and felt they wouldn't be taken seriously if they defined themselves as a feminist.
Personally, I have no issue in identifying myself as a feminist (gosh I feel like I've said that word a million times). For me, feminism is simply believing in the equality of the sexes, it’s an all-inclusive feminism rather than for small demographic who have typically ‘radical’ views.
Alike my favourite feminist, writer and all-round boss Chimimanda Ngozie Adichie, my feminism comes from the belief of the social, political and economical equality of the sexes.
We need to open these conversations, not just with our fellow sassy female friends but the wider community. I recently had a real good natter with a male friend of mine (shoutout to Aaron if you're reading) and it was really promising and encouraging that he engaged in the conversation with me about feminism.
Personally, I think it’s important that we take ownership on the term feminism, during these turbulent times. I believe that we can mould and adapt feminism into what we want it to look like. Feminism for me, is empowering other women. I think as women we are too hard on not only ourselves, but other women too. We need to stop that.
I’d like to live in a world, where if a women is doing something you think is cool and inspiring - tell them, let them know. Compliment each other. Build each other up. It’s important more now than ever to spread love and kindness to one another.
I believe we have evolved from the original concept of feminism - which is often misconstrued by not only women but men too. Standing for feminism is saying “hey, I believe I should be paid as much as my male counter part because I’m as awesome as him!”. We need to let feminism grow with us, and the society we live in.
I'm a feminist because in 2017 there should be no gender pay gap.
I'm a feminist because I shouldn't be forced to wear certain clothes to my workplace.
I'm a feminist because in 2017, I shouldn't be hearing misogynist rhetoric coming from the leader of the free world.
It’s gonna be tough guys. The next four years more than ever, but don’t lose hope.
However, if you are after an educated chuckle, I recently discovered the podcast hosted by comedian Deborah Frances-White called The Guilty Feminist, and I fricking love it. If you shy away from the world, and feel like you can’t define yourself as a feminist then give this a listen. It’s funny, yet insightful and empowering. Let’s be proud to stand up and say “yes I’m a female, and I love it.” They cover all kinds of topics in a light-hearted way, which is nice as conversations surrounding equality can be a little dry.
The world is going through scary times, so love and be loved. Share happiness. Share the light. Be kind. Be mindful.
Thanks for reading pals, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Love,
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