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6 months ago, I was depressed, hating university and miles away from home and the one thing that kept me going was my blog.
I've come a long way in these few months, and it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't found my love for blogging. It's given me a sense of direction. It's given me something to work towards. It's helped my mental health and it's allowed me to connect with some wonderful people, who like me, have struggled.
This week I've been really reflective, I've been musing about a lot of things and I guess this post is just a result of all these bubbling thoughts.
I'm sure you're all aware it was International Women's Day this week, as it was everywhere on social media - and rightly so.
Of course, I was mini-fist pumping when I saw Snapchat had a filter, because hello who doesn't love a new Snapchat filter? The feminist inside was buzzing like a small child with a chocolate bar.
But if anything, International Women's Day, made me really think about how proud I am to not only be a woman, but to be a female blogger. Blogging has had a bad wrap in the media, with a lot of people complaining we all do it for the freebies.
We've heard all that crap before. It's not about the freebies at all.
Each person has individual reasons for creating their own space on the internet, and I can tell you now, freebies won't even be in the top ten reasons for starting a blog. For me, I love having the opportunity to be involved in a community. With the likes of #thegirlgang and #blogginggals, it's great to find likeminded individuals with common interests - who just happen to be crazy bunch *salsa dancing emoji*.
My blog even helped me get my recent job. I wouldn't have a clue about social media management, SEO and basic HTML if it wasn't for my blog.
But anyway, what I really had a lot of time this week was for the people sharing the love for influential bloggers/youtubers, who essentially are the pioneers of this newfound bonafide career of blogging - which we all owe a lot too, well us bloggers do anyway. I definitely salute the likes of Victoria from In The Frow, Lydia from Lydia Elise Millen and Sarah from That Pommie Girl - all of whom I've been obsessed with since day one.
I'm rambling. I guess this is a rambling post, so if you came here for a straight forward post about my mental health journey and blogging. I'm sorry. It's erratic - like me.
But anyway, I've had a lot of time to think over the recents months. About a lot of things. Where I wanna be. Who I wanna be. What I wanna do. How I wanna be the best version of me I can be.
I've applied for university, again. But I'm genuinely excited to get back into education, and get stuck into a career. Two years later than everybody else I know, but who cares. I guess I'm just walking the path few have walked - and the long way too.
I guess, I've always just floated through life, unsure exactly on what career path I've wanted to take. Many people have said I've always had too many fingers in different pies, but it's made me the well-rounded person I am today. I wouldn't be the confident person (lol when my anxiety is hidden) when I need to be without my theatre and dance training.
My blog has helped me reignite my love for the one thing I've always, truly, loved - writing.
Going to study English at a top UK institution wasn't the dumbest decision I've ever made. I guess at least I had some inclination in what I wanted to really do. But literature wasn't where my heart was. I know that now.
But I'm looking to the future - which is something I haven't done in a while. Dropping out of university, and moving back home clouded my head amongst with my mental health. I felt like there was no future for me. You can read all about my dropping out of university post here, in case ya missed it, and if you have - where have you been gal?
But there is a future for me. I'm a passionate individual. I'm a head-strong person. I'm an independent woman who knows she's going to do big things. She just doesn't know exactly what yet.
AND THAT'S FINE.
I guess since I'm super proud of myself lately. Especially as today I had my first telephone appointment to sort my mental health out. Which I was super nervous about because my anxiety rockets when on the phone. lol. Anyone else?
Also is anyone digging Instagram right now? Because I am. I was always in awe of those who had a super cool instal-theme and I've tried to give it ago. I mean, it's ain't amazing, but boy I'm in love. Leave me your links below, I'm always on the look out to follow pretty instas.
Anyway, I guess I'm content because I've got the best support network around me - particularly Leon, he's been my absolute rock. It's been tough getting back into the routine of him not being around all the time, but I'm getting there. I'm just super proud of how amazing he's doing at uni.
Soz. Sidetrack cus that boy is amazeballs and I have to pinch myself sometimes cus I'm so lucky. (lol pass me the sick bucket.)
I'm back. I'm better. And I'm gonna get my head right in the game. I'm more driven than ever to make something of myself. Be it the inspiration from my favourite bloggers, the inspirational superwoman that is my mum, or myself. But I'm feeling myself. Yes. Like Yonce.
I hope y'all feeling yourself too. Soz about the long-winded post about life. But sometimes a gal just gotta get it all out.
Mucho love,
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